My husband and I got married after almost 20 years together, and we talked about EVERYTHING. He didn't expect me to change my name (and had no desire to change his) and I think he was surprised when I decided to do so. I kept my "maiden" name as a second middle name, because I didn't want to give it up altogether but also didn't care to hyphenate. THAT was a pain in the butt, and still is sometimes because most formst don't have space for a second middle initial. Being a first-time bride at 43 definitely gave me plenty of time to think about things and make decisions for the right reasons though. Also, I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE the "Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName TheirLastName" tradition. The only relatives who address us this way (usually on Christmas cards) are doing it to prove a point, because I don't return the "favor" and I'm sure they notice. :-) The only time it amuses me, for some reason I don't understand, is when the Cleveland Museum of Art sends our membership cards that way. A well-written and thought-provoking story.